2010...

Just like a blink of my eyes..
It's a whole new year...
It's as fast as 100000 X of the speed of a lightning... XD very fast!...
I have no idea what will this new year, 2010 be like...
It's the first time I am in A class..

Something I hate about this new year is that
I am going to school alone..
My sis and bro won't be accompanying me...
I don't like to be alone!!! haiz ... very wu2 nai4 lo...

In school, my bro had accompanied me for 4 years...
Whenever I faces troubles, he is always there for me...
Recall back the days... Makes me wanna cry...
I hate the feeling of can't be with him already..
It feels unsecure without him in the same school with me... X((((
When got problem, can find who leh? yor!!!!

Hope 2010 will be a wonderful year...XP

Went Hatyai.. 3 days 2 nights..

Went to Thailand...
Last Saturday till Monday..
It was actually quite fun...

Most of the time, we just shop and walk...
What I like about this trip is that I get to walk almost the whole day...

We bought a lot of things...
I bought 8 shirts and 4 short pants and some toys too...

Saw some XX XXX there... ewwwwwwwww.. in case you know what I am saying.. XP

Slept at 12pm malaysia time... (but it's 11pm in Hatyai) so... ? ^^

In Hatyai, I kept thinking what I wanted to buy for some of my friends, in the end I bought some things... But didn't get to see them.. Haiz..

I treat friends unequally...some bad, some gud, some very gud, some damn gud.. (damn me !! XD)

I bought extra things for my damn gud fren.. but "malangnya" the damn gud fren dw accept.. Hope the damn gud fren will accept... haha

Saw my primary friend there... unfortunately... In the friend's blog, she didn't write she saw me in her blog post.. haha perasan me....

Shopping in Hatyai was ok I think..
The price in Hatyai was about 10 X of the price of Malaysia...

Haha... When I was in Hatyai, 2 ppl sent me msg.. Sry... Made you both lost rm 2... Although we complained that we are tired of walking, but we still walked.. No people was down the entire trip... haha

We did some photoshoots there...
We took some vain photos...
And also some family photos, 1 ppl photos, 2 ppl photos, 3 ppl photos, 4 ppl photos, 5ppl photos... XPP

Was a bit tired... my shoulders and legs were.....
Energy came back after a few days..
Had fun.... Enjoyed this trip..

+ Like family trips!! haha But don't like having too many trips.. Because it's tired.. XD

* PS : No photos.. Photos are at........ XP

XOXO

Artistic? haha only i can understand..
This pic is a combination of 6 words... XPP
Running, Kicking, Smile, Love, Help, Accept.... understand y? ^^

My baby dragonssss..==*

Today....

Went for undang exam d....
45/50.. Passed!... XD
But... about 3 hours there jus to take the exam...

Wait til headache a bit...

After the exam, went bec home...

But.. haha nothing to do....

Oso boring...

Boring a little while, then someone called me...

Then not so boring d.. XPP

But hapi... X))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Evening went to qb b4 going garden to play wiv my bro...

Played... juz abt 30mins, then leg no energy d.....

Exercise too much? X)

Nwadays got many free times, so use to play

X always happy... (0_^)

Run and Kick... haha...

Long time din blog.. kinda forget to do so... Abt 2weeks plus....
Coz a bit boring blogging.. Now got form to blog again..
So I am bec agn... XDD

I went some place near PESTA to listen undang...
And I am going to have my exam on 23/12...

Hope I wun fail... XP

Once I said I have interest in running, then my dad bought me this shoe a few days ltr.. XPP
Ytd went to run for fun at bukit dumbar...
Went there at about 9am.. The sun is coming out..
So I decide to run there a while...
I end up running 6laps...

My dad stomachache.. So he helped me to calculate the time I run each lap..

My time "sux".. But my dad said I improved...XD I know I still very noob la...
Lap 1 : 01 : 14 : 76
Lap 2: 02 : 30 : 20
Lap 3: 04 : 01 : 95
Lap 4: 05 : 35 : 30
Lap 5: 07 : 09 : 45
Lap 6 : 08 : 49 : 34

Time increased every lap... And one lap only about 300m... So quite slow la... -.-
6 Laps : 6 X 300m = 1800m.... (0.x)
My favourite colour : blue , black, white.. XDD

Then afternoon, went some place at sungai nibong there..
Played football wif ~my bro ( pro)~? XDD
He taught me some tips about football...
Played for a little while..
Then we went bec home for dinner..

And so again I planned as everyday to sleep b4 11pm..
But still I slept at about 11.24 pm.. haha

Guessing Post.. (^-^)

Went tesco and eat...
Me and my sis wu liao then take sum pics there .. XD
Then wu liao de me update... XDD
Guess 1st.. Then only go c the answers..
Answers are at the bottom of this post.. X)

1)Whose leg lai?
2)Whose ice cream?
3)Whose hand?

4)Whose de food?5)Whose drink?

6)Whose food left like tis?

Ans : ........??........ whose de i oso dk la.. ^^

Toys... XDDD update for fun ... haha

//Dragon ball//

My kerja kayu.. =.=

I wonder wat is the orange and yellow thing.. A decoration.. ^^

They are moving.. XDDDD

Paired up... XP

Is tat guy holding a gun.. fake or real wan?? lol....

The green one is not looking at the camera.. X)

My fav lai....

lalala ~

Delete
the
blog
and
then
undelete
the
blog...

Syok lo the feeling.. XD

11pm sleep.. XP

Left about 30 more days to school reopen...
Haha juz 4 weeks only..
Quite fast...
Scared next year the class I am going to study in..
Scared pressure..
But I can't do anything to change.. lol
Hope can stop thinkin and enjoy the holiday..

I plan to do de things during this holiday..
Some can't do...
Some do d...
But got one thing I always wanted to do but can't..
I want to sleep b4 11pm..
But everyday... I after 11pm only go sleep...
Sometimes is becoz I watch tv, sometimes is can't sleep eventhough b4 11pm alrdy lie on bed le...
Sometimes is think too much, sometimes is .......
After 11pm sleep is really not healthy, sleep b4 11pm reli makes me feel good and sleep late makes me bad tempered and all...
I wake up d, my mum said my eyes become a bit you3 shen2 gok... haha XDD
Guess everyone who sleep b4 11pm oso feels so....
X Sleep b4 11pm ba... it will make a difference.. XDDD

Perasan liao la.. ask me this kind of ques

walau.. ask me this kind of ques..
haha.. i down liao la...
HAHAHAHAHAHA
i bo down... XDD
" hey, u reali changed"... !!! XDDDDDDDD said by myself
Got someone called me today and asked me some ques..
Although it is a bit offend tiok me la...
Tapi I decided to use a another way to face besides being sad..
A bit siao la my reaction.. XP

Today watched taiwan love chinese movie..
Watched 10hours..
Watch till forget to do many things..
But a bit nice la the show.. XP

Haha..

Abv pic: A yellow circle which is a living thing.. It is very happy.. (huh?) haha...

Although many things happened throughout these few days....
Many things was going to make me go "emo" at 1st...
But luckily I managed to still be hapi..
By watching tv and appreciate what I have right now... plus stop thinkin about the sad things...
Wohhoooo.. XP

XDDDD
Hapi hapi hapi...

Whole day wif my mum! DAMN HAPPY!! XD

haha dk who lai... XDDDDDDDDDDDDD


Today i din go anywhere besides pei my mum the whole day..
Woke up about 8.00sumthing and then followed my mum to work..
I was panic at 1st.. I dk wat to do..
I was my mum's assistant..

1st time no experience....
Sure kelam kabut la..
haha.. but managed to work everything out in the end... XDD
Planned to go bowling wif my mum..
But then work too long..
Decided to work till 1pm de..
But then too many patient... suddenly come..
Then went back at 4pm..
Din hav my lunch..
So then we go ate our lunch at 4pm sumthing..

I was happy.. I helped my mum today and I earned a bit money..
Had a nice day wif my mum..
But dk tmr wan to go work agn or not..
damn tired..
Now onli knw my mum is so xin1 ku3 de..
Mus go le!!! XD
I at home always face pc and watch tv.. a bit sien..
Today work d.. come back exercise then watch tv..
A more healthier and better lifestyle..
Everyday mus be hapi!!!

Today at my mother's office..
Got one my mother's fren..
My mother's fren told me a lot abt experience of life and ......
Learnt a lot..
Learnt to work and how to be hapi...
Happy is the most imp.. de ler...

After work.. Went buy some dvd...
My mum let me buy watever things I wanted to buy..
Can't describe how hapi..
Din think b4 hang out wif mum wil oso feel so hapi de... haha

XI love you, mum............. heheee

All Yiruma's songs ROCKED!!

Every single of his songs is just so touching..
The music is like speaking to you
Every single notes...
Every single............
XDDD
His songs all are my favs..

Mum, thank you..

Love you lots... mum...
thanks for everything...
XD Felt much better after u helped me ytd...

I love this picture!! XDDD

I dk when this picture is taken...
But I know this picture is a bit long time ago take wan..
When I c this picture, I will recall back some things..
I dk wil recall wat...

But I reli like this pic...
Coz normally when we are young, we three usually take a lot of photos..
But now almost no more d..
So when I c this kind of pic of we three together (secondary school de),
I will very treasure..
Although I dk the abv de pic go where d..
But I hope I can find it..
I hope can take more photos with my family...
When I go outcountry or wat, at least I get to c them..
Or when I grow old, I can able to c how I look when I am young.. hehe XD

It's hard..........(emo talking)

After the penang bridge run tat night, I can't control my emotions again...
But luckily no one finds out..
I know it's not right to tell ppl tat I am crying...
So I won't tell.. XD
For many times I have been wondering wat does this world want from me and why does this kind of stuff keep happening to me...

I know I can't make the world change... But I know I can change myself..
So I juz nid to change myself to face the world...
Although I know I can only change myself, but I am not able to do so..
Penang bridge run tat day, many ppl that I don't expect them to talk to me, they talked to me....... -.-
I dk y I am this perasan and I always go and care other ppl talk to me or not...
**** myself...
I hate myself thinkin of this and that..
It's making me insane.................
It's hard for me stop myself from doing that...

I dk y... I dk when....
I started to treat many ppl in many different kinds of way..
Some I treated them a bit like fu yan,
Some I treated them a bit better,
Some I treated them better than better,
Some I treated them the best,
Some I juz ignore....
I dk is it becoz of this unequal treating that makes me XXXXX or not..........

I know it's so stupid for this kind of saying.. but ya...
If u treat a person very gud, will the person treat u back that way?...
Mayb or no is the answer...But I always expect ppl to treat me the way I treated them..
It's not posible for others to do so rite? Becoz everyone has the right to do watever they wan wat...

It's had been years for me to search myself and seek for hapiness...
I always faces faliure in the end...
I couldn't face many facts that are real and cruel..
The facts are something like friends don't last forever n etc...
I hate those facts....... But anyway they are real, so I should accept it.. *although it's hard

When I was in primary school, I dk whether I got treat anyone as best friend or not..
or I treated everyone equally... but I stil remember even tat time I often get bullied or something, I won't be sad and I wil think it as it does not happen before... Everyday in primary school, I was hapi and I don't care much about a lot of things..

Ltr when I went into secondary school, things changed.. I changed too...
I still got bullied.... But dk y, I got bullied in this secondary school, I was angry, mad, sad and everyday juz suffering when they bullied... *although my face does not show anything(angry or sad).... In the secondary school, besides getting bullied, I stil hav to face the probs like ppl saying u are a quiet person, zhi4 bi4 and all kinds of things, it's hard for me at 1st.. but in the end, I dun care much le...

I had been thinkin to hav best friends that will last forever...
But end up, there is no such thing as forever..
As I surveyed many parents and many ppl.......
It may be true becoz we might go to different countries...
But still ya.. this is one of the fact that I couldn't accept...
y after go dif countries,can't be friends?

I think that I am a bit abnormal la...
Becoz I don't think anyone would be so perasan about this kind of things..
I want to be like them... Hav no worries everyday, hapi and joyful without being influenced by anything....... I want to be like some of my friends, they dun care whether other ppl care them or not, they juz be themselves and hapi all the time eventhough their friends dun bother them or etc....
I am diff, once I hav friends, I will try to treat the friend as gud as posible... And when that friend dun bother me, I will start feeling that I am being rejected, and then I will reli feel damn bad about it... It's my habit...

Last time, I had been mad about the best friend that I met in primary school..
He is like a stranger to me d...
I dk y... It's juz feel strange for me to contact him..
But in primary school, we are a bit like best buddies and he understands me a lot..
That time, I oso thought tat we might be friends forever, but ya...
It's impossible... maybe posible a little... -.-

Nowadays, I made a lot of friends... I tidak mengamalkan sikap keadilan..
I treated some better than others.. I care a lot of some ppl, and ignore others...I know it's wrong to act like tis... But I am juz trying to find bestfriend, hmmm.....
maybe I did it the wrong way, maybe I should change to another type of person..

I hope there will be juz someone who can make me understand more about how to live in this world.......... It's hard... It's hard for a person like me to live in it...
Sorry I promised that I won't be down anymore and I still down again..

X Abv things are juz emo talking and rubbishes... Juz ignore me....
Current mood : not very hapi...
juz nid some time.. (1day) XDDDD
24 hours will recover le... If not, I ..........dotz haha

"Y can't leh" .... HELLO
Haiz.... haha beh syiok lo................

Penang Bridge Marathon

Today woke up about 5am something...
After a shower, I went to Queens for Penang Bridge Marathon...
Half way, my stomach a bit pain....
But still finish the run and got the finishin medal...
The whole "journey to success", I was alone..
I ran wif my sis at 1st but then I separated wif her the half way...
After the run,I walked frm coffee bean to starbucks then agn frm starbucks walk back..(becoz of someone) a bit geram la...
funny and angry... 2 things together.. XD
But then today quite hapi...
Talked to some ppl who does not talk to me tat often n I order myself in the coffee bean... XD
Back home d, after bath, someone came... XP
After that, I layed on sofa and rest for 2-3hrs...
Then, go qb for fun...
Went borders and read some pokemon books... (gt colour and the pokemon was drew nicely, so counted as interesting)
Finish reading d, i go c thomasjack for 15 ++ mins...
Head home after that...
The end of the day... haha

Cool fishes.......

Fishes like this is put inside my bro's room...
There are about 4 "special" fishes.... XDD
Eg: Elephant nose fish, XX eel, east side dragon and XXXX..(dk wat lai)
But I like the elephant nose fish..
It has a long nose like elephant...
Besides these fishes, we oso bought fighting fishes...
A total of 5 fighting fishes...
They are really very beautiful!!
My bro choose wan... I bad eyesight can't see which is better..
But he can.. XP

Holiday...Bye bye 4SB4...

Tomorrow I wun be going to school because I dun hav transport....
And many ppl will not go to school.. So at hse better i think... XP
Time flies by fast...
Ya, it's true.. it's like a blink of an eye....
I didn't know now is already November unless I look at calendar or my watch...
This year, I made many different types of friend...
Some friends are quite fun mixing with, some just hi and bye friend and some are jus "boro hmwrk fren" and some are ............................
I thought that this year's class will .........
but "sebaliknya"... It is a awesome class to be in....
Next year, abt 55% i will go to A class d.. I scare I can't tahan the stress leh...
But December oni c fate la...
I had been in B class since primary school til form 4.. 10years dy.....
Going A class should be a happy thing but I am not reali tat happy...
Coz in b class so long sure already xi guan how it is like d...
A class sure different from b class wan ma.. Die d...
Hope God help me choose class that is the best for me la next year...

Today is the last day in 4SB4...
Quite sad...
Coz quite a number of best fren/fren will not be in the same class wiv me d the next year...
Boys are boys... wun perasan wan wat.....
But I will a bit perasan la... XDD
Wish that next year can still be in 4SB4..
Imposible? haiz
Friends in 4SB4....
1)lkf2)lzy3)ksxq4)lys5)tay6)ljy7)twz8)oyw9)tcp10)tsl........... n more... XP
Write song wan.... no wan giv ppl c de meaning... haha

Learn til something.... ^^

Today learn something...
I never I will learn this kind of thing..........
I learn how not to go care so many things.....
And quite a lot of things...
Some are secrets...
It took 4 years to learn...
Today I finally understand..
Damn happy...
After understanding this "thing", I think I will not be down so easily d...
geng la.... thanks for those for make me realise that .............XXXX............
Learnt 5 things.... XDD
In just one day...
And oso learnt something which is not in the books... haha

Back to square one is the best..

Today, i have changed into somebody who i am not suppose to be...
I should change back to ... something like quiet tat type of person....
All the abnormal acts of mine are juz so wrong...
Is hard to change back... But it is easy to continue....
I think i will manage to change back if my will is strong enuf....
Exam is coming and i still can't focus on my studies...
but focus on wrong things..
Hope can be a baby again... XPP
Nothing to worry... Juz can live everyday so hapily and.....

Today bought 2 turtle/ tortoises...
a bit hapi... XD
last time bought b4 2 turtle/tortoises, but then suddenly one day they XXX...
zzzzzz hope these 2 new turtle/tortoises can live longer!! XDD n forever n ever......

Help other ppl think..

I don't know why I like tat wan lo...
Always don't know help other ppl think...
Haiz..... mementingkan diri is now de prob...

Changed many times dy...
Change from XX to XX... XX to XX....
don't know stil nid change how many times only can change till correct...

Perasan? dw talk abt it le la...

But regarding to some other things.... hmm...
like ppl rejecting our call.. shld us be angry or wat? should not rite?
because maybe the person we call is busy wat...

Anther thing, ppl do something we dun like, we shld not be angry oso rite?
Coz is his/her choice to do so wat... wat for angry?
Hate myself!!!!!! why so perasan, y so mementingkan diri, y so dun know how to happy, y go think so much, y so ................... ARgh.... !!

X When hate me, pls tell me la...

9 days more to exam..

So fast...
Days to exam is less than the fingers of my hand..
24hrs x 9.... how many hours left leh...
die dy... dw sleep maybe stil can't finish lo...
Exam coming but then stil wan watch tv...
Plus this time exam so late so many things stil blur...
Hope stil can get gud results la...

Gud luck... ^^

Perasan de ppl will always be perasan de ppl..

The last time I cry was about 2weeks or 3weeks ago... Quite long.. XD
But nowadays headache a bit serious...
I can't concentrate on studies or no form talk...
My head was like lacking of blood..
My brain like to think many things which is in the future/ past..

I was doing some homework and listening to sad music this afternun...
Coz listen song more relax...
When do till 30 ques,
suddenly....
I start to think something...
A sad thing pop into my mind....
Another and another and another....
Guess what happens...
After 15mins, then only can calm down... not very serious gok..

Those sad things can't be shared.... It's personal... haha

Got prob, cry out, a bit more hapi leh.. XDD

But hope cry does not have side effects...

Stop....

我不会再"更新"直到年终考试完毕.....

因为........我现在才发现我许多科目没搞好...

都不知道可不可以读完....哈哈.. 本来我就不是很常上网...

可是现在我要完全不开电脑了...

若可以, 希望也可以逼到自己不看TV...

更希望我头晕的问题可以减至最少...

我可以读完的!! XD

还有... 希望所有人能拿比上次好的成绩...

拿到好成绩的滋味真的比玩耍的滋味好百倍...

.不信.. 你就试... "我叫你试!"XP

所有人加油咯...^^

sis, look down this post... hehe

Happy Birthday Sis

Exam is coming...
I don't have time to do birthday card for you..
Honestly, dun hav the materials, so can't do one for you.. haha
So I decided to write it here... hope you dun mind...
It had been 15 years I living with you....
You are actually a very gud sis.... compared to other ppl's sis...
Many ppl told me tat their sis is annoying and......
But I am proud to say that my sis aren't...

Although sometimes I don't talk to you,
it does not mean that I don't care about you..
I just don't know what to talk to you...
In my heart sometimes stir a lot,
because I don't know what not to say and to ask...
I know for lots of the times, I said rubbish and nonsences..
Thanks for listening to my boring talk...
I am very glad having you as my sis and my story/prob listener,
although sometimes you like fu yan, but it is already gud enough u nodd your head and smile..
Because when u talk to me, I seems to be more fu yan i think...

Haha....Honestly, I am quite jealous of you sometimes...
You have a lot of friends, flawless appearance and personality...
But I am hapi for you...

This family oso can't be without you,
it won't seems meaningless and colourless.. XDD
Because many times you went travel,
it is like very empty in the house although just lack of you....

Happy birthday, hope you hav a nice day....
May all your wishes come true...

Abt 16days more....

2 weeks more to exam...
Hmm... a bit panic.... nervous plus a bit scared
Cz very short time to revise from chap1 to the end lo..
Summore so many subjects...
Dk how to finish readin leh....

Haiz... then headache and dk y everyday like very tired..
Need to depend on my luck agn dy i think..
3 times lucky... get number XXX... haha
Maybe this time can't...
But I stil hope I am lucky agn la....
Wish me luck... haha XDDD

After exam, wohooo...
how to enjoy leh.. haha muz start plannin le...

Dot Dot Dot... XP

17/10 , my handphone followed my mum go to my ah ma house... Sobz... I left it in car...Today, tot "he" will be back le.... But then no one fetch "him" back.... Maybe tmr "he" ka back... haihz...

16rounds of running.... abt 400 times of skippin rope... haha geng! improve so much le..
Hapi for myself.. XDD hope can improve more...

17/10 & 18/10
Something happened these 2 days... my .... dw to listen to me.. (0_o) hehe
much more things happened ... =.=
My first XXXX gone le.. huiyo... should have protect it wan... XDD
N the snake.... haiz.... a bit syok tiok the snake la... haha beh tahan nia..
N ya dun knw is better than knowin wat happened.. XP
Juz ignore la.. coz i siao dy luan say things wan...^^
Shh... knw de ppl dun say anything.... haha

Piano...

Everyday after school, sure play piano for 15mins then only go eat lunch...
Dk is it an addiction... =='
Last time I hated piano so much....
But dk y now change le...

Hope can compose a song... XDD
Now still dk how to write the notes into music sheets...
sharps, flats, major, minor... blur.. haiz

abt 20 more days to exam...
Study 1st.. haha....

4weeks more to rest..

4 weeks more to school holiday and exam....
It's real damn fast...
Eventhough some ppl say that I am childish..
but I am sixteen dy.. XDD

Dk wan go learn motor or not...
But dk go learn can drive ma...
coz dk how ren4 lu4..
Haiz... After exam ni decide la...
haha

When you change...

When you change..
u feel like everyone around u change...
It's true.. XD

If expect other ppl to change, it's impossible...
I tried b4...

It's feels good after changing in the inside..
eventhough nobody knows about it... haha

N thanks to those who helped.... ^^

Ytd was miserable... Today - Delighted XD

Ytd I cried
I don't know the actual reason..
Is not like I don't hav friends or handicap...
Y should I cry? there are more things in this world to cry for....

I should smile and be happy everyday..
Laugh and always open mouth & open heart.. XPPP

But I think ytd I cried is because I thinked too much dy... X(
I juz kept thinkin and ignore the fact that I am going to cry after thinking...

Haha...wat my mum told me ytd... I realized that the whole thing is juz like a drama.. I made it happened... I am like the director and also the actor.... The whole drama is like a comedy to some who read the post...

Coz even if I write out that I am sad or wat, no one will knw how to help me... even my family members read it.... What for I write out and make my friends/bf/family sad together with me..

Ya, it's true when I am down, I din think tat if I cry, what will happen to those who are around me.... They will be juz influenced by me... So I now will start thinking before do something stupid..

Actually my parents always call me to concentrate on studies and don't think so much, but I juz wun listen in.... Sometimes will listen in... 50%..
Then yesterday, bf (nt tat bf) haha... he told me to concentrate on studies too..
din knw what he said is actually the same as my parents....
3 ppl told me to concentrate... So 88% hear into my mind dy.. XDD

So from today onwards, I wun focus on those sad things dy...
coz I already shed "uncountable" tears everytime I think about the sad things...
A same sad thing can make me cry over 5 times...

Ytd a baby came to my hse....
after observing his actions, there is just curiousity in him...
He juz kept touching everything he see...

He is cute and he laughed whenever he thinks it's funny....
When I smile towards him, he will smile bec... * if you are not "fake smiling"
He din seems to be thinkin every sec... he does different things at different time..
if u ignore him, he will juz do his things....
He is like living a wonderful life without worries... Hope can be like him.... :D

X Stop being a cry baby... ^^

Today perasan...**

Every morning wake up.. sure got bath de..
so everytime when go to school, periods before recess was usually happy and fresh..
but after recess, I sure becum bored and less happy and talk lesser and dwn de... (if u got observe) XD

Today stil go to skul as usual...
but nwadays go to skul become more and more boring dy... dk y..
But last time wun, coz i always hav a chance to talk and i knw wat to talk..
stil rmb last year.. those two who sit beside me and behind me... I talked non-stop to them the whole day... til gt 2 ppl tl me n boycott me.. XP

But dk y this year ntg to talk dy.. or maybe ppl who sit beside me, i dun feel like they wan to listen and dy xin2 guan4 like tat le since feb... hard to have the form to talk le (like last year de form)

After recess, I got a bit down... juz like usual oso la..
always down a bit bit le.. then will more down and down til i cry... ni wil stop down..

After recess, I do my hmwrk... do do do do til I headache dy.. then I stop doing and do oher things... Do til half way, suddenly perasan..

i down le, bo cry.. i cont. down..cz bo cry, wil not stop down..
i down dy startin the period after recess..
When i dwn, i wun smile or laugh, or even talk more...
The feelin is shown on the face...

I start thinkin things....
I thinked tat perasan things/ things make me perasan :
1)I duno wat to talk... but i hav a feeling tat i wan to talk.. so very wu2 nai4...
2)din talk to ppl tat i suppose to talk to
3)thinking the truthfulness of some friends..
4)recall bec past
5)when i down, wil there be anyone there for me... tat time, i think there wil not be..
6)too quiet wil oso down..........
7)headache...
8)bored....
9)no reason...

After all these thinkings, the tears start collectin in my eyes....
luckily no teacher...
so i go toilet... For 20minutes.. to prevent ppl from watchin my XXX face..
the toilet a bit smelly... tat's the only way... lol
cried in there... knw wil cry dy.. so before going toilet, already borrowed tisu.. XDD
After cryin. back to class.. a bit hapi bec le.. can smile n laugh le...
was not plannin to tell ppl wat i did in toilet.. but in the end told sumone...
If i din tell, dun think anyone wil knw, coz go toilet sure pee or pangsai nia eh ma.. haha

haiz... always cry wan me... y like tat de?!!!

MUS BE HAPPY MA!!!!!!!!!!!
SMILE NOW!!! XD XD XD
haha smiled... ^^

7th October tat day

This year unlike last 3 years no one wished me...
This year got ppl wish me...
So quite hapi la...

Besides tat, my mum and sis planned and did something tat day for me( i mean in skul)... + hapi
thks wz(bring cake in) , k (take cake come)...

I felt very ......
coz I din wish some friends when they birthday... but they stil wished me...
so a bit bit guo4 yi4 bu4 qu4....

then gt 2 ppl asked me wan present nt.. i said no... coz dk wan wat..

Then today after skul, dad called... he sang me a happy birthday song.. a bit shocked.. XDD

After many ppl wished, stil got 2ppl i expect them to wish.. they din...

then 2 become 1... coz one wish dy..XP
the another 1.... i kept waiting... tot he say wun wish is juz a joke...
After 12am... stil din wish.. a bit kecewa..
but then after tat, he wished me and plus something...
Although already after my birthday, but stil in heart I am HHAapppyyy.. XDXD haha
pun lai wan to "FXCX" him le... =.= mana tau.... after he wish n plus sumthing the next day, i wan to "KXSX" him...

actually 6th Oct, i tot celebrate dy.. ate kfc during lunch time.. (rare chance to do so) then in my mind.. ntg wil happen le the next day... then stil sumthing happened.. -.-

I got a bit shy when the cake is carried to my table.. hate myself being shy!!
then happy birthday song was sang.. but stop and sing and stop and sing.. like pause and play..
=.= tat time recess le..sum ppl dun giv face, run out.. but for those for stay and giv me face, i rmb.. those run out de, i dun rmb them le.. haha

At nite a bit late slip, about 11.30pm coz stil waiting msg...
then receive tiok another wishing msg b4 slip..

Slept with a smile on my face...
but in heart tat time stil thinkin why some friend dw to wish..
dw how to talk out gua... hmm... nvm... i oso din wish them.. sobz
Heart and mind stirred... a bit beh syiok.. but stil try make myself stop thinking and sleep.. X)

Juz some things to say....

Wah.. So fast.. it's like a blink of an eye and now is already October.. XD

stil hav about 1 month plus then exam / holiday le..

so many things to study... Hope able to read finish b4 exam...

------------------------------------------------

recall the days I started being in 4SB4...

The 1st day was like a nightmare to me...

The 1st whole week, I was like so........ I wanted to change class tat time...

But after a few weeks i started to talk to other ppl and became friends/bf/watever, my feeling of changing class is then gone...

cz everyone in tis class are nt bad ppl... Lol...

---------------------------------------------------

hehe.. I stil rmb january tat time, I was so scared to walk away from my seat, easily get embarassed, always do hmwrk, talk very less/ soft....

But then... "Ppl change from time to time... "

I changed as I face a lot of probs of my "zhi bi ness"... I seeked for mum's help... as well as my siblings and dad.. frens too XD

If I get this ques "how you change from quiet to ..... (some sort of kl maybe)?"

I think I dk to answer..

-----------------------------------------------------

Til now I stil can't forget....

A few ppl who approaches me in Jan ....... who always comes to my place and talk to me... eventhough I acted so lc... ya quite lan ci la..

din think tiok got ppl can tahan de and tot will not be friends dy.. but XD haha

wanted to say thanks reali.. tat time bo say cz shy.. haiz...

if tat time no one bothers me, I think I mayb wil "commit suicide" dy.. XD

-----------------------------------------------------

Tis year, often get bullied, but this bully thingie seems to make me grow....

eventhough I hate get bullied by ppl....

-----------------------------------------------------

This year is the 1st year I get good result.. A class's result...

Studying for the 1st time exam was fun (no stress)

2nd & 3rd exam... studyin was stressful..... now luckily okok... not too stress or how..

Tis year, 1st year teach ppl.. no experience de teacher...

at 1st got 2 students... now becum 1 student left le...

Although my teaching is not very gud, but stil I am happy to teach... as long as u are patient wif me..... =P

----------------------------------------------------------------

Lurve this year's friend/ bf.... haha n last few years too.. =)

----------------------------------------------------------------

Haiz.. October dy....

stil a few weeks can be in 4SB4... next year sure change class and wun be same class wif some friends le... mus zen1 xi1 dy gua? haha

1T12-> 2TB4 -> 3TB4 -> 4SB4... haha geh gau a while... 3 years b4 dy...

geng leh ? =.= no ? XDDDD

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Haha... there is sumthing tat I wanted to say...

I actually dun wan to say de..

but it is hard to dw to say..


I decided to say... I mean ask..
hmm... who knws what happens on 7th of October? XDDD

Dreams Are Fake... XP

There are total of 3 dreams yesterday...

sometimes dreams are quite chi4 ji4.. and a bit scary... but I like to hav dreams la... XD

My dream yesterday:

1st dream :

At 1st, I was in the dream.. XP duh...

But forget who is beside me dy..

I juz talk to tat person..

then end dy the 1st dream.... hehe

After the 1st dream, then i think it's black around me... can't c anything...

I think "they" are preparing the background and the actors... XD XD

2nd dream :

Abt a few seconds, I was in the 2nd dream le..

but this dream made me woke up in the middle of the night (midnight)...

It's not like last time got ghost eh dream and wake up till whole body sweat..

but..... -.-

this dream is a bit similar to the 1st one..

I talk to a "person".. I knw who the "person" is..

but then I dw to say out... scared it really happen...

After talking to tat person for a while, then suddenly quarrel...

The "person" says that he hates me..

Then we are like going to stop being friends...

I was a bit scared tat time.. dk wat to say... start to panic..

Then I woke up... sweat a little bit... haihz like tat oso sweat... perasan!! X(

Then sleep agn.. for the 3rd dream.. XD

3rd dream :

continue the 2nd one.. but different background...

dk wat happen..

but I knw there is this 3rd dream....

=.= think til head burst.. stil forget.. haihz..

abv de things not important wan, so juz ignore wil do... haha

Important Part;

If anyone start to hate me, must tell me leh...

haihz

Last time I hav b4 this kind of dream and it really do happen...

So I nw ni post tis post de...

so ya, tell me when u feel tat u hate me.. XP

XHope ytd's dreams aren't real...

Holiday is going to end.. (@.@)

Last time I said I hate holiday so much that it makes me suffer and I don't wanna have holidays...

Last Time

Last time I thought holiday was

BORING

MEANINGLESS

SUFFERING

Last time's holiday is just like a nightmare to me..
There is nothing to do...
And it's just like everyday wake up and do nothing then
at night sleep nia..
So last time, I really do hope that holiday is short and end quickly...
I think that school days are better, at least there is something to do....


Now

Now it's different...
Nowadays, I think that holiday is

NOT BORING

NOT MEANINGLESS

NOT SUFFERING


BUT FUN

BUT MEANINGFUL

BUT HAPPY

lol!! dk wat am i saying agn.. XD XD


I don't want holiday to end so soon..
I want a "longer" holiday...

This holiday wat did I do:
% went cameron + visit dad's parents hse => 2 days
% study a little bit
% watched 2 movies in cinema.. "where got ghost" & "G-force" with family..
% bought new sportshoes
% had a head massage
% learn something new
% did something new
% n mainly what I did was (censored) haha!!

conclusion =====> Happy XP

School days are coming back.....
Hmm... dk wil headache agn or not...
Hope I wil nt giv myself stress until I so ki siao..
Oso hope I will not l.c. n supress myself from things I wanna to do and things I wanna to say...

X 我讨厌我的"兰席"..

Went to Cameron... LALALALALA.... XD

--->It took about 3-4 hours to reach there...

-We went there by car...

-Before going, "something" happen.. so in the car when listening to a sad song in the car, I think tiok my .... towards my bro and I felt sorry, so I cried.. But I cry, this kind of thing very common wan la, so nt the main pt.. haha main pt is my mum and I cry at the same time... so qiao3.. XD

-We slept in the car for quite long...

-We kept on singing along the way...

-We played mastermind a few rounds in the car... Play a while dy, then headache... So we stop..

-My mum and I felt dizzy while going up the hill which the roads are very "condong"..

-I was dizzy so I slept on my bro's knee... Then a while, my dizzyness was gone... X)

-Ate a lot of oily foods there... Eat a little bit was yummy, a lot was ..... suffering... 0.0

-Ate some chocolate strawberrys there..

-Played one round of Monopoly... And ya Beginner's Luck.. lol...

-I had massage there..But lucky just head massaging only... Because I hate people touching me!! haha After massaging, I felt empty... Headache seems to dissappear dy...

-First time massage, so dare not close my eyes.... scared kena.... hahahaa

-We ate steam boat there..

-We slept at around 1am... Because of watching "scare tactics"...

-We stay there for 2days and 1night..

-Woke up the next day, bathed.. so cold... X(

-When dad drive down the hill, I suddenly recall wan buy "things", but too late le la.. -.-

-Then, we went visit our dad's parents...

-Stay there for just a few hours then went back home already..

-Didn't go for ttn... =.= coz not sempat..

-Then watched a STUPID movie.... watch half-way, then switch off the tv dy..

-After that, zZzzZZZzzz .... ^^

luv tis song.. "Friends Forever"

Although after listening to this song, don't feel quite happy... I mean sad/dwn.. haha

but then love this song... XD

I sad because of

1) Past de friends

2) Now de friends

3) Best Friends.....

4) Best of All Best Friends

the lyrics:

And so we talked all night about the rest of our lives

Where we're gonna be when we turn 25

I keep thinking times will never change

Keep on thinking things will always be the same

But when we leave this year we won't be coming back

No more hanging out cause we're on a different track

And if you got something that you need to say

You better say it right now cause you don't have another day

Cause we're moving on and we can't slow down

These memories are playing like a film without sound

And I keep thinking of the night in June

I Didn't know much of love, but it came too soon

And There was me and you, and then it got real blue

Stay at home talkin' on the telephone and

We would get so excited, we'd get so scared

Laughing at our selves thinking life's not fair

And this is how it feels

Chorus:As we go on, we remember

All the times we had togetherAnd as our lives change, from whatever

We will still be, friends forever

So if we get the big jobs and we make the big money

When we look back now, will that joke still be funny?

Will we still remember everything we learned in school?

Still be trying to break every single rule

Will little brainy Bobby be the stockbroker man?

Can Heather find a job that won't interfere with her tan?

I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye

Keep on thinking it's a time to fly

And this is how it feels

*Repeat chorus*La, la, la, la; yeah, yeah, yeah

La, la, la, la, we will still be friends forever

Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?

Can we survive it out there?

Can we make it somehow?

I guess I thought that this would never end

And suddenly it's like we're women and menWill the past be a shadow that will follow us round?

Will these memories fade when I leave this town

I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye

Keep on thinking it's a time to fly

我恨我自己

我讨厌我.........我讨厌我
我讨厌我xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
我讨厌我xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
我讨厌我XXXXXXXXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
我讨厌我xx
我讨厌我
我讨厌我xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
我讨厌我
我讨厌我xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXXXXXXXxxxx
我讨厌我
我讨厌我
我讨厌我
我讨厌我
我讨厌我
我讨厌我
我讨厌我
我讨厌我
我讨厌我
我讨厌我xxxxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXXXXXxx

我讨厌我自己伪装我自己.....
我恨我自己!!!

猜一猜．．．到底是谁？Ａ&Ｂ．．

我无聊... 所以就写了.................



A:

爱说反话．．．

有时我还蛮气的，　可是有时还蛮喜欢的．．．

说过A利用... 可是分析后, 他根本就没有... 只是我想多了...

想说:"谢谢"...

有一次, 没有食物吃, A买了/拿了给我..

我被欺负, A帮我间接性地报仇了..

我被人欺负,弄到衣服湿了, A........

我DWN, A弄我开心...

弄我变强...

也感谢你能忍耐我的敏感, 我的冷淡...

说不完... 等......XD

想对A说的话: 那什么2个月的事... 希望是假的.... 不然我会骂你LIAAAARRRRR10000000000次...到你TL...哈哈!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
B:
B在一月时, 常叫我搬去他的座位坐...我却拒绝...

-他也常试着与我沟通..

但是, 我...有点"内向"的情况...

所以...

他与我说话, 我好像只冷淡地回答...

我常说"对不起"...（因为我的＂ＬＡＮＣＩ＂）
我自己知道我ＬＣ，　但是．．．还是改不掉．．．

有一阵子，　他教我踢球．．．

过后，　我对足球有点兴趣．．．
可笑的是在我中一时，　爸爸要教我踢球，　我不要．．．

但是B 叫我，　我却去学了．．．　－．－

他教我踢, 我教他别的东西... XP

谢谢B介绍给我的几首歌．．．

那首歌＂终结孤单＂．．．ＸＤ

也谢谢B 曾让我体会与朋友出去玩的滋味...等事物...

想对Ｂ说的话： 对不起... 我改不了... 我不知该怎样!!! X(





--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
哈哈..说了那么多, 都没有人会去在意的啦....

可是.. 我就是不能忘记PAST...

它们都在我的心里... 忘不了



可能迟一些，　会有C.D.E.F.G的出现....也可能没有了....^^

Ｘ原谅我的沉默．．．

我不能接受事实就是这样.....

"朋友/好朋友总有分开的一天"
这句话有谁不知道....

可是很奇怪的是
我.........
看到这一句话...
我的泪水.....
就不自觉地流了下来...

我回忆起过去, 而且还想到很遥远的一切...
我回忆起我以前的好友...
我回忆起我小时, 照顾我的人...
我想我未来一个人的生活...
我想以后再也不能见到朋友的情况.....

当然...
因为这一次哭得比较严重...
所以有声音...
妈妈听到了...
来安慰我...
虽然妈妈自己已XXX... (因为某种原因)
但是她还是安慰我..

妈妈告诉我...
朋友是能接受你的人...
这时候, 我的心就想能真正接受我的朋友真的很难找..
又一滴眼泪滴了下来...
因为能真正接受我的朋友...不久后...又要分开了...

妈妈也告诉了我她的事...她的事与我有点相关...
所以我有多滴一滴泪....

妈妈也说...
朋友没有永远....
可是天下没有不散之宴席....
你要时, 还是能叫你的朋友出来的啊...等..

妈妈也说...
她与她的小学好朋友...
20年没联络了...
可是...
现在见面了...
还是朋友啊....

本来觉得应该会哭到明天早上的...
可是妈妈... 15分钟.. 就将我搞定了... XD

妈妈走后,
我还不能睡..
拖了2小时... 才睡去...

现在你会哭... 因为你想永远占有, 你不想失去..... 你现在能做的不是为了还有几年要分开的事而难过, 你应该更珍惜现在....



(妈妈没来之前...) :

爸爸...安慰的方式则是...
告诉我不能这样想..
未来的变数太多太多了..

哥哥则告诉我若要想这些事, 其实是想不完的...
哥哥也说他也将与他的十年好友可能即将分开了, 可是他说他并不难过...
因为
曾经的好朋友永远都会是好朋友.......
(在心里...)

而妹妹则睡了.. 因为隔天有上课..

总共滴的泪: 8滴.. 哈哈.. 有算哦!

今早... 心还是有点痛... 泪还是在眼眶里... 若又有伤心事, 我一定又滴多一滴眼泪的...
可是头晕好像又REDUCE了... XD

失信 + 头晕 ＋ 妈.......有你真好！＋只想说声谢谢..无恶意.XD

不知该如何是好....
答应说假期后...
要变.....的三个条件...
今天就已没做到两条了...
真不知该如何是好....
不知该说对不起...还是什么的...
所以又打算了沉默...
因为失信就是失信了嘛...

说真的...
最近
这几五天....
我都失眠.....
每天晚上....
不管几点睡觉... 还是需要二十多分钟才能进入梦乡...
最近
头晕越来越厉害了...
今天... 才刚刚与母亲聊聊...
发现自己疯了...
我根本不清楚自己要的东西...

前几年... 我都一直有很多的目标...
比如说: 离开座位... 勇敢开口说话.... 拿好成绩...等...
慢慢地... 目标都达成了...
我...
现在觉得好闷...
没有目标的人生... 怎样活呢?

记得前几年的我...... 变了...
不知以前的我... 好? 还是现在的好......

以前... 只要一个人找我聊天... 我就会一直记得....
甚至记得那个人说过的每一字每一句....
现在... 不管... 几个人... 找我聊天... 我的心会觉得很空虚.... 越讲, 心越空...
(不知该如何说) 好像没有话题说了..
有很多人告诉我....
若你要说话, 话题是讲不完的...
也是最近... 我没有东西讲了...
我..... 的...

曾经记得我是多么地爱说话...
现在... 不知是恨还是什么的....
有时爱...有时恨...

最近... 我说话时, 莫名其妙地头很痛.... 很晕...
有时... 不说话时... 也会头痛....

头痛...我已从过了第二次考试的那时候痛到了现在...

我想也没人能帮我...
告诉了任何人... 我想也没有人能明白那头痛的痛...

今天...妈妈已试着聆听我的问题, 帮了我许多...
可是妈妈说还要多几天... 再用其他方法帮我...

妈... 有你真好!

只想说声谢谢．．．

谢谢．．．ＸＤ　（因为你们无意间．．．　帮我ＲＥＤＵＣＥ　ＴＨＥ PAIN OF 头晕...)
我是个敏感的人！ 哈哈...

谢谢
－妈妈
－妹妹
－哥哥
－爸爸
－凯丰
－修贤
－伟良
－学勤
－师父
－．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．
－等．．．．．．　（暂时想不到）　ＸＰ
还有还有....
任何人不想他的名字出现在这... 告诉我... 我删除... X）

太急了......

数一数...
假期还有6天就罢了...
应该很快就过了....

假期本来是想要让自己RELAX 的
但我却不懂得RELAX.....
每一天, 仍然很"急"... (不知在急什么)

不懂得RELAX.. 就算了...
我还不知道要做什么...
每一秒... 都好像在发呆...

过后....
我....想不到其他更好的事情做,
我才去弹钢琴....

不断弹我学过的11首歌...
- Beauty and the beast
- Morning dew
- Habanera
- In the hall of mountain king
- I believe I can fly
- Viewer's mall theme
- First Love (half) XD
- Sunrise, Sunset
- Joyous Farmer
- Top cat
- The swan

我弹到"走火入魔"... ^^
屁股像是黏着了椅子....
忘了自己是谁... hahaha

我不断想要超越自己...
-想弹更多歌....
-选难的歌来弹...
可是自己才第四级罢了... -.-

弹了4小时....
却....
可能....
我又太急了...

今年5月, 我变了...... + 人的不完美.........

已好段时间....
没有人再问我这种问题了:
'你为什么那么安静?'

什么 '内向.. 乖..'等... 我好久没听到了....
该喜该乐?

或许我真的改变了...
可是我很能确定....
我还是敏感....

别人的一句话
就足够让我受伤害....

虽然在被说的时候没事... 可是回家后........ 就有事发生了...

有时不只是别人说的话....
别人的冷淡反应.....
别人的声量....
别人的眼神....
别人的不理睬....
也会影响我的情绪....

记得妈妈有说过....
要懂得接受别人的不完美....
可惜我至今还无法........

因为我总是认为我的改变别人成为我要的人, 一个好人是会这样那样的, 一个好朋友是会这样那样的, 一个..............................
我太自私了....
好想把自己的头脑与动物换掉....
没有太大的情绪张力...
没有那么地情绪化....
没有那么地"那个"等................

~~假期.........................

我不知为何我不喜欢假期...

假期...
我根本不知要做什么事...
再加上妈妈不在家, 星期三才回来...
我更是......

我好像有点疯了... 我非常讨厌假期!

因为
我讨厌太过于放松...
我比较喜欢繁忙的日子...
可是却讨厌那些日子给予我的压力....(矛盾) -.-

考试过了...
我的心却像是还在考试...
每天, 不管与家人去哪里, 我都会拿一只笔和一本书.....
但是
拿了出去... 却不会动到那本笔或书...

现在是假期...
可是...
我的心....
=.= 不知道它到底在担心什么...
而且
只要它开始担心或受压力...
我的头100%会痛... 也会不断流汗...

我曾经告诉自己
放轻松....
不要整天想一些有的没的..
可是......
头还是痛...
已三个月了.... X(

好朋友成了陌生人

六年级时, 我还没有好朋友…
每一天, 我都在寻找…
好不容易…
随着意志和坚持…
我找到了一位…
他
- 明白我
- 了解我
- 尊重我
- 关心我
- 相信我
- 不欺骗我
- PERLI 我
- 骂我
所以我们成了好朋友…


毕业后…
我们读不同的中学…

中一时…
他时不时会打电话给我,问候我…

中三时…
我与他在补习中心遇见了…

中三,中四…
他约我出去…
我一直拒绝…
日久了…
我依然拒绝…

几个月后…
我不睬他
他不睬我…

如今..
我与他似乎成了陌生人…
心想: 还有可能再找到像他这样的知己吗?

不要太在意....

在很久很久以前.....

我很敏感....

敏感到每一天都会偷偷躲起来哭泣....

过后...

现在...

看回我那些日子所写的日记....

才知道.. 才了解....

那时候哭的原因...

是因为我太在意周围的人的看法...

太在意了...

＊不要太在意别人对你的看法．．．

＊不要因为世界改变，而改变．．．

做自己．．．

人总是要面对孤单....(又不知自己在说什么了)... -.-

人总是要面对孤单....
谁不曾孤单过?

现在
才知道
孤单不恐怖....
孤单是我们把它给想得恐怖的...
孤单....
我们总是要面对它...
因为
今天我突然无意地想....
领悟到.....

看到卖ROTI的阿姨....
她一个人坐着....
皱着眉头...
不知她正在想什么....

可是,
在我心里想, 她这样每一天一个人卖ROTI...
不孤单吗?

野狗, 野猫, 它们不孤单吗?

我好矛盾!!!
说孤单不恐怖,却还害怕它...
-.-

一直想来想去....
为什么我害怕孤单?
........................................
始终没有答案...
原来, 我问了我自己一个没有答案的问题...

Switching Off My Phone... ^^

I am doing an experiment...I am switching off my phone...
I want to c whether there is any difference when I switch it off... XD
So my phone's screen is black in colour now...
Anything.. call my house phone... haha

Duration : 7/7/09 - 17/7/09

Experiment 0-000000001
Aim : To study the difference of having a phone and not having a phone...

Material/ appartus : a phone

Variable : Fixed variable : Type of phone
Manipulated variable : Presence of the phone
Responding variable : Effects of switching off the phone

Discussion : ----

Conclusion : ----

笑ＳＭＩＬＥ．．．．

突然想到这一句

＂只要笑一笑,没有什么事情大不了＂....（微笑ＰＡＳＴＡ）

不要DWN…不健康
笑一个!!
让生命从此不同!!　
嘻嘻

Emo for a while =.=

Humans have the times they are high and they are down...
I am a bit down these few days...
but luckily now I am back to "normal high normal down" already...
Felt boring for life a while...
but now not boring and not that down already..

Things I am doing now:
1) Piano (learning): utada hikaru's first love.. a bit wan to give up dy.. -.-
The songs that I will play everyday:
a) morning dew
b) the swan
c) viewer's mall theme
d) top cat
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
2) Watch tv
3) Dance/sing/draw/etc
4) Study
LOL!!! XD

无聊之POST （原则）ＥＴＣ

谁对我好．．．
谁对我坏．．．
我都记得．．．
对我好的人．．．
我会对他/她很好．．．
对我坏的人．．．
我会对他/她很坏, 但有时也可能会对他/她很好．．．

谁帮过我．．．
我一定会帮回他／她．．．
若谁帮我解决一件事，
我一定会Ｘ１０　地帮回他／她．．．

不说话．．．
不代表不在意．．．

在伤心．．．
却还虚伪地微笑，保持乐观．．．

想成为世上绝种的好人．．．ＸＤＸＤＸＤ

今天的事：

今天有一点ＤＷＮ．．．
可是自己又不知道原因．．．
只好试着想办法让自己开心．．．

回到家，＂狂弹＂了３０分钟的钢琴．．．
弹完了．．心情好了一些．．．
过后告诉XXX我NWADAYS　．．．ＤＷＮ．．．
THN．．．．．　ＢＬＡＨＸ 3
我变没有ＤＷＮ了．．

过了几小时...
就补习..４．４５－６．３０ＰＭ．．．

不知为何又ＤＷＮ了．．．

所以就＂狂跳舞＂．．＂狂唱歌＂一小时．．．
后来ＡＲ．．．
又还是ＤＷＮ．．．

不知该做么．．．．
过后想一想．．．
＂ＤＵＮＴＨＩＮＫＴＯＯＭＵＣＨ＂了！！！
STOPTHINKING
我停止"想"...

5MINS DWN 罢了...　
过后就HAPPY　ＬＩＡＯ！！ＸＤ

(报告).. 更了解自己..

智能分布状况:
1) XXX........... 11.56%
2) XXX........... 11.11%
3) XXX.......... 10.22%
4) XXX............9.78%
5) XXX........... 9.33%
6) XXX............. 8.89%
7) XXX............. 8.44%
1) - 7) 质性分析 : 主动...
8) XXX 人际智能，　感性．．． 10.22% 连报告也显示说　: 其实原本可以是第3) 的.. 但是因为质性分析是开放...(可以改变) 所以才排在第8) 的...

开放程度:
能发现事情的好笑之处...
展现幽默并抱持乐观态度...
对有趣事务打心底会新而笑....
也常开怀大笑....
但有时侯倾向自我封闭...
在人际关系上应特别注意......

特殊情况:
先天性的敏感度强....
因此容易感受一般人无法理解的讯息...
但有时会显神经质, 基本上情绪张力大...

改变改变
我要改变.... XD

No more conditions...

I always wanted :
1) When I talk, ppl's response must be:
a) reply : at least say : "en" .. "har".. ETC..
b) create a new talking topic
c) listen / full attention
d) eye contact - to indicate that the person is listening to me...
e) don't go away unless I finish talking
f) smile- to show that the person is interested in my talking topic...

I am like setting these conditions when I talk to ppl..
From today onwards, no more conditions...
why I go set these conditions? -.-
whenever ppl failed to do the things abv, I will felt ................
lol....
no more no more... ^^

永远安静算了… =D

突破了….
敢答应朋友踢球去了…
敢随着朋友进食堂去了….
敢…………………………………………

可是…
心中却还是有恐惧感….
无论怎样也好, 四年了…
我还是无法真真的改变…
无法像小学生那样的活着…
自由自在地活着…

“安静”
往往会让我不会那么容易地得罪别人…
往往会让我更多时间做更多的事…
往往会让我有机会观察身边所发生的事…
往往不会让别人有机会说我烦…
往往会…………………

我
似乎一直地找理由不改变….
不断地说我不能改变等….

可是事实真的是如此….
…………….….
…………………….
…………………………..
我看…
永远安静算了….

我放弃了…
不想再改变了…
我还是做回安静的我较好吧….

毕竟
像我上次说的….
我已习惯安静了….

只想对每一个鼓励过我说话的人说声”谢谢”….
也想对那些无论是谁都好觉得我不友善等的人说声”对不起”….

改变了...却还不够....

今年改变了…
比去年
更坚强,
不是很敏感了…
比去年
更会说话,
不是很安静了…
比去年
更聪明,
不再拿三百多名了…
比去年
更勇敢,
不是很害怕去年害怕的东西了…
比去年….
比以前….
…………………………….

我改变了…

我对我自己说…
还不够…

但是
我已累了…

还要继续改变吗?
……………………………..

停了再写才好玩…

人生许多时候…

我们都应该"停"…

而不是一直"冲"...

因为人不是机器…
因为人总是会累…

不管是停一秒或是零点零一秒,

只要停了,再走...

我们才会知道如何让自己的人生弄得更美好 ...

停....

无法再写部落格了….

每当我想写时,
我脑海里就浮现许多不愉快的事…
永远都没有一件快乐的…

我部落格每次大多都会写
伤心的, 不快乐的事物…
我觉得一切应该停止了…
因为每当我写部落格时…

我整个人就会无意间像跌入黑暗世界里一样…
而且我的不愉快也会使读我部落格的人受影响…

够了…
够了…
该点上个句点了吧!

也许有一天, 我能控制我的情绪 ,再回来写……
可能是一阵子, 也可能是永远…
看我几时才会控制…^^

"Cz I hate you down" said by XXX (dw say name) XP

Horoscope was a bit correct this time..
"Libra: You haven't been feeling so bright lately, but a flashbulb idea today will help you shake the feeling.."
This sentence somehow makes me awake... And I don't know why...
And makes me realise that when I am down, I will really make those who are beside me together become down...
So I don't want to feel down anymore..
I want to be tough and don't so sensitive already.. ^^
*Cheers...

还是在敏感世界... 自找麻烦...

要暂时离开这世界..
我看我自己也只是说说罢了…
因为我根本就做不到…

心里一直想说离开, 暂时离开这世界…
可是我自己也不知为何要这样做…

每一天早上起来, 我就莫名其妙地头晕…
莫名其妙地不知要干嘛…
可能是像一般人在这一生中也一定会感受到的吧…
~ 孤单… 寂寞…

我常常希望这世界的每一个人不会觉得孤单…
但自己又在那边敏感…觉得孤单…

好多时候, 我想说我自己解决就可以了…
不要去告诉别人…
因为我不想让别人来我操心…
而且其实很多问题, 我觉得是自己自找的, 只要不想, 就会没事了…
可是我又不知为何我要去想…

心就是很乱…
不知要做么…

哦…
我知道… 去睡觉… -.-

Homework.

First ：被点到名字的要在自己日志里写下自己的答案，然后去掉一个问题，再加上一个 问题，仍然组成 20+10 个问题，传给其他 10 个人，列出 10 个需要回答问题的人的名字，还 要到 10 个人的BLOG里留言通知对方 ——你被点名了，被点名者不得拒绝回答问题，完成游戏的人将会永远得到大家的祝福。

Second ：这 10 个人要在自己的日志里注明是从哪里接到题的，并且再想一个题目传给其 他 10 个人，让游戏继续下去，不得回传。被点到名字的人将得到大家的祝福，并且所有的美丽愿望都会在不久的以后实现，这是博客里流行的击鼓传花传给谁谁就得接着，否则就得挨罚，请认真对待，不要怕暴露隐私。

1.你有偶像吗，或者比较喜欢谁？
No. Dk. I like everyone.

2.你觉得怎么样才算幸福？
With the one who you cares and the one who cares about you too.

3.你最有成就感的一件事是么？
Open mouth and talk.

4.无聊的时候一般用什么打发时间？
Draw monsters.

5.你到底喜欢什么样的人？
Not sure.

6.真正喜欢的人会放手吗？
No.

7.你觉得人为什么要微笑呢?
To spread the happiness to others. So this world will be a happy world!

8.你认为只要付出了就会有回报吗，为什么？
Yup. But sometimes Yes but sometimes No.

9.请评价一下点你名的人
Ken Saw. Good, Nice, 78% Kind, 22% Evil, 92.99% Friendly, 81.81%Handsome, 85.34% Polite.. In this world, this kind of ppl onli hav 33.92 ~ 140.81 ppl. Hard to find.. -.- Am I lying? Dk. XD

10.你最不能忍受最爱的人犯什么错？
One leg step 5 boats.

11.对大学生活的感受如何？
Dk.

12.经常会做怎么样的梦？
Become talkative/ Horror/Scary ones/ Meet wif celebrities.

13.感觉孤独无助时，你会怎么样？
Just cry. Time will pass. Slowly will be happy again.

14.现在如果有一个愿望能实现，你会许什么？
No one in this world feel lonely.

15.现在最想做的事情是什么？
Be a good son/sibling/friend/student.

16.如果有来生，你还会选择来到这个世界上吗？
Will.

17.敢对自己喜欢的人大声说出来并一直坚持嘛？
Dare.

18.你觉得目前对你最重要的事情是什么？
Ntg really important yet.

19.准备什么时候当父母？
See fate.

20.你觉得恋爱跟婚姻的关系是什么?
恋爱is婚姻 father -in-law.. (Copied half)

21.爱究竟是什么？
Love is two people love lai love ki.

22.敢保证自己回答问题说的话是真的嘛？
Dare.

23.现在最希望拥有什么？
Everything. I want it all !

24.现在最不想干什么？
Do things I don't like.

25.让你感觉最不爽的一件事情是什么？
My open heart, close mouth.

26.你感觉自己现在幸福嘛？
Yup.

27.如果非要在爱人和事业中选一个，你会选择什么？
Both.

28.到现在了，最后悔的事情是什么呢？
Don't know the roads in Penang when I am young till now.

29.你现在快乐吗？
Keep on changing... Because I am emotional. -.-

30.死了过后，会想喝盲婆汤么？
Never heard before got this kind of thing.

被点的人:
10ppl.

After ytd.. today - Planning on the ALONE DAY -- 3/6/09

Yesterday was .....
-.- Green shadows.. ARhhh...
I simply think too much..
Today not afraid already..

(-.-) ---> 9.23am.. woke up
(0-0) ---> 10.00am - 2pm.. force myself to play game
(@-@) ---> play too much... headache a bit d
(-.-) ---> don't know what to do 2.50pm..
(+-+) ---> Go study and do robot
XD ---> 3.00pm - 5.05pm...
X( ---- > Boring already...
XO --- > do some "sports" / exercise 6.00pm - 7.00pm
($-$) ---> GO SLEEP TIL .......................

Home alone... X(

Hands cold
Heart is cold

Every body part is cold...

Hands shaking

Heart is freezing

Every body part is shaking freeze...

Hands stop functioning

Heart stop pumping blood

Every body part failed to carry out their function

Because I am scared of being home alone...

I saw before the home alone movies..

But I still don't know how to defeat the bad guys... (because I don't have a smart brain) Lol...

What to do?

many ppl say: so big d.. stil scared? *some oso laugh -.-

ya.. I am scared.. But I don't know why I am scared pun..

Just scared...

Nvm.. I try to overcome..

I go do robot... (still haven't touch tiok)

I should not feel down or sensitive.. ^^

I don't know why I always very easily feel down...
Sometimes I think that I am sad is because of ???thing..
then sometimes I felt that I should not be sad of ???thing...
But that ???thing really .....
................................................

I am like torturing myself when I am down... Heart like being ripped apart..
Why should I be sad? -.-
For fun? hehe

Finally... I "xiang tong" already..
I should not feel bad of anything...
because life is like this.. is hard to do any changes d..
Humans are humans.
Animals are animals.
Plants are plants..
*dun nid to understand...
-.-

So ya... happy is the most important thing ever... duh....
N I finally know how to spend my holiday! YAY!

I need my family..T.T

Friday - Headache
Saturday, Sunday - Flu + headache + a bit cough
Monday - Flu + headache + cough + sore throat a little
These illness also the one of reasons why I am down, T.Bro.. X)

I need my mum!! T.T
Maybe is too long I didn't see my mum and my sister, I only start get these illnesses..
Today my father went out too..

Don't know what will happen next?
Maybe fever?!

K... ya fever better..
At least I can whole day sleep on bed...
And do nothing (no energy /strength)

Now a bit energy...
Then suffer the torture of "Boring" /"nothing to do"...
I hate this kind of feeling very much... Boring/ Lonely/ No one to talk to at home.. haihz

WHAT CAN I DO!?!?@#??!@#?!@#?@!?$#%&%(*(

A Taste Of Ppl Breaking His/Her Promise..........

I promised "someone" before that I will ..*.......*..

When that day come, I ppk...
I felt very sorry...

Then I told "someone" that I was very sorry for breaking my promise...

Then now..

The thing someone promised me to do, he/she didn't do...

I felt a bit beh syiok because he/she promised me already...

He/she didn't even say sorry.. (maybe he/she thinks it is just a small matter)

Ya... Now I know the "taste"...

It doesn't taste good...

So next time I sure do what I promised.. 1001%!

Mental Problem Post? -.-

From Friday till Monday... I don't know what I have done...
Tomorrow... Tomorrow and Tomorrow.. *(3 Tomorrow only)
Full with sorrows..
With no family eating together in a row...
But just my dog : "ROW" "ROW" "ROW"
So these few days I guess my feeling will go low low low.. *LAME!!
Help someone... Help.. (T~T)

Ps : Speaking to myself :

Part 1:
Another "I": Stop thinking all these things.. Go do your robot..
I : okok...

Another "I" : Thought you already decide to do your robot during this holiday..
I : But after do finish robot, what can I do?

Another "I" : After do finish then .... *(thinking)
I: ........

Another "I" : Study?
I: ......"" Nah...

Another "I" : Em... Oh... ya... Talk to casper la..
I: Ya, I almost forgot hor...

Another "I" : Who is casper anyway ? I still don't know.. Just simply say..-.-
I: Casper is my imaginary friend...

Another "I" : Can I meet him?
I: Nope.. Only me can see and talk to him...

Another "I" : Oh..

Part 2:
Another "I": why u just now say just 3 tomorrows full with sorrows, why not whole holiday?
I: ...... Because the 3 tomorrows, my family members will not be at home...

Another "I" : So how u live?
I: Got someone buy food for us... But just that it is very suffering for me to stay at home alone..
But what can I do?

Another "I" : Play game and watch tv la..
I: I told u I hate to do these two stuff d lok...

Another "I" : Invite your friends to your house or go to their house la.. I: They all ... haihz... I don't think this way will work..

Another "I" : Like that you go settle yourself la.. Byebye..
*Disappear*

I: (sobz) Suak, I settle myself...
Em... How to settle? T.T

I go study.. I go talk to my books and make friends with them... XP

Anti Promise Breakers !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mission - Inventing (art robot)

This holiday, I don't feel like watching tv/ playing games..

So I decided to...................

Do what I did when I was in form 1,2...

I decided to do art and craft..

And ya last time is a crocodile..

This time is a robot... ^^

Now still doing the structure part...

Quite fun doing it..

When you are boring, why not do some art and crafts? XD

Feel the fun of doing art and craft other than wasting time doing stuffs that are not beneficial at all...

Being perasan for a while

YESTERDAY
I make myself very down by thinking stupid stuffs...
I down till I like wanted to die.. -.-
But then after 12hours of "down",
I suddenly not down then become very happy..
Don't know why I down also... ^^
I will do other things other than the 2 things d.. Cheers *

leaving this world temporarily..

I am not in the mood to do any other things...
watch tv & playin games...
Don't make me happy anymore..
So I decided I only do 2 things that will not make me down from now on:
Clean the house
Study
Call my house phone if need anything..

I am very happy this year... but I wanted to just.....

I am very happy this year..
Because this year I does many changes :
Moving from my seat during period intervals..
Talk more than last year..
More confident than last year..
Smarter than last year..
Having more friends faster than last year..
Less sensitive than last year..
More brave than last year..

Last year or last last last year....
I actually was very talkative too...
But just talk to those friends who sit besides me...
And when I talk to them, I talk 24 hours...
Result in 24 hours non-stop talking, they usually hate me and but they are still my friends...

Changing....
From quiet to talkative..
From not brave to brave...
From XX to XX....
actually is very hard...

I have to change my thinkings about this and that and more...
Don't know how.. maybe is by the help of my family, I changed....

Anyway I don't think I change enough yet... But I am already very tired..
What can I do? ....

Sometimes I felt that I change and change, I forgot who I really was from the start... I felt empty, real damn empty eventhough I changed to a person that I wanted to change to...

Can the clock just freeze and let me rest...
Can I leave this world?
Can I..................................................
-Speechless-
Dk what to do with myself....X(