Dreams Are Fake... XP

There are total of 3 dreams yesterday...

sometimes dreams are quite chi4 ji4.. and a bit scary... but I like to hav dreams la... XD

My dream yesterday:

1st dream :

At 1st, I was in the dream.. XP duh...

But forget who is beside me dy..

I juz talk to tat person..

then end dy the 1st dream.... hehe

After the 1st dream, then i think it's black around me... can't c anything...

I think "they" are preparing the background and the actors... XD XD

2nd dream :

Abt a few seconds, I was in the 2nd dream le..

but this dream made me woke up in the middle of the night (midnight)...

It's not like last time got ghost eh dream and wake up till whole body sweat..

but..... -.-

this dream is a bit similar to the 1st one..

I talk to a "person".. I knw who the "person" is..

but then I dw to say out... scared it really happen...

After talking to tat person for a while, then suddenly quarrel...

The "person" says that he hates me..

Then we are like going to stop being friends...

I was a bit scared tat time.. dk wat to say... start to panic..

Then I woke up... sweat a little bit... haihz like tat oso sweat... perasan!! X(

Then sleep agn.. for the 3rd dream.. XD

3rd dream :

continue the 2nd one.. but different background...

dk wat happen..

but I knw there is this 3rd dream....

=.= think til head burst.. stil forget.. haihz..

abv de things not important wan, so juz ignore wil do... haha

Important Part;

If anyone start to hate me, must tell me leh...

haihz

Last time I hav b4 this kind of dream and it really do happen...

So I nw ni post tis post de...

so ya, tell me when u feel tat u hate me.. XP

XHope ytd's dreams aren't real...

Holiday is going to end.. (@.@)

Last time I said I hate holiday so much that it makes me suffer and I don't wanna have holidays...

Last Time

Last time I thought holiday was

BORING

MEANINGLESS

SUFFERING

Last time's holiday is just like a nightmare to me..
There is nothing to do...
And it's just like everyday wake up and do nothing then
at night sleep nia..
So last time, I really do hope that holiday is short and end quickly...
I think that school days are better, at least there is something to do....


Now

Now it's different...
Nowadays, I think that holiday is

NOT BORING

NOT MEANINGLESS

NOT SUFFERING


BUT FUN

BUT MEANINGFUL

BUT HAPPY

lol!! dk wat am i saying agn.. XD XD


I don't want holiday to end so soon..
I want a "longer" holiday...

This holiday wat did I do:
% went cameron + visit dad's parents hse => 2 days
% study a little bit
% watched 2 movies in cinema.. "where got ghost" & "G-force" with family..
% bought new sportshoes
% had a head massage
% learn something new
% did something new
% n mainly what I did was (censored) haha!!

conclusion =====> Happy XP

School days are coming back.....
Hmm... dk wil headache agn or not...
Hope I wil nt giv myself stress until I so ki siao..
Oso hope I will not l.c. n supress myself from things I wanna to do and things I wanna to say...

X 我讨厌我的"兰席"..

Went to Cameron... LALALALALA.... XD

--->It took about 3-4 hours to reach there...

-We went there by car...

-Before going, "something" happen.. so in the car when listening to a sad song in the car, I think tiok my .... towards my bro and I felt sorry, so I cried.. But I cry, this kind of thing very common wan la, so nt the main pt.. haha main pt is my mum and I cry at the same time... so qiao3.. XD

-We slept in the car for quite long...

-We kept on singing along the way...

-We played mastermind a few rounds in the car... Play a while dy, then headache... So we stop..

-My mum and I felt dizzy while going up the hill which the roads are very "condong"..

-I was dizzy so I slept on my bro's knee... Then a while, my dizzyness was gone... X)

-Ate a lot of oily foods there... Eat a little bit was yummy, a lot was ..... suffering... 0.0

-Ate some chocolate strawberrys there..

-Played one round of Monopoly... And ya Beginner's Luck.. lol...

-I had massage there..But lucky just head massaging only... Because I hate people touching me!! haha After massaging, I felt empty... Headache seems to dissappear dy...

-First time massage, so dare not close my eyes.... scared kena.... hahahaa

-We ate steam boat there..

-We slept at around 1am... Because of watching "scare tactics"...

-We stay there for 2days and 1night..

-Woke up the next day, bathed.. so cold... X(

-When dad drive down the hill, I suddenly recall wan buy "things", but too late le la.. -.-

-Then, we went visit our dad's parents...

-Stay there for just a few hours then went back home already..

-Didn't go for ttn... =.= coz not sempat..

-Then watched a STUPID movie.... watch half-way, then switch off the tv dy..

-After that, zZzzZZZzzz .... ^^

luv tis song.. "Friends Forever"

Although after listening to this song, don't feel quite happy... I mean sad/dwn.. haha

but then love this song... XD

I sad because of

1) Past de friends

2) Now de friends

3) Best Friends.....

4) Best of All Best Friends

the lyrics:

And so we talked all night about the rest of our lives

Where we're gonna be when we turn 25

I keep thinking times will never change

Keep on thinking things will always be the same

But when we leave this year we won't be coming back

No more hanging out cause we're on a different track

And if you got something that you need to say

You better say it right now cause you don't have another day

Cause we're moving on and we can't slow down

These memories are playing like a film without sound

And I keep thinking of the night in June

I Didn't know much of love, but it came too soon

And There was me and you, and then it got real blue

Stay at home talkin' on the telephone and

We would get so excited, we'd get so scared

Laughing at our selves thinking life's not fair

And this is how it feels

Chorus:As we go on, we remember

All the times we had togetherAnd as our lives change, from whatever

We will still be, friends forever

So if we get the big jobs and we make the big money

When we look back now, will that joke still be funny?

Will we still remember everything we learned in school?

Still be trying to break every single rule

Will little brainy Bobby be the stockbroker man?

Can Heather find a job that won't interfere with her tan?

I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye

Keep on thinking it's a time to fly

And this is how it feels

*Repeat chorus*La, la, la, la; yeah, yeah, yeah

La, la, la, la, we will still be friends forever

Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?

Can we survive it out there?

Can we make it somehow?

I guess I thought that this would never end

And suddenly it's like we're women and menWill the past be a shadow that will follow us round?

Will these memories fade when I leave this town

I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye

Keep on thinking it's a time to fly

我恨我自己

我讨厌我.........我讨厌我
我讨厌我xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
我讨厌我xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
我讨厌我XXXXXXXXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
我讨厌我xx
我讨厌我
我讨厌我xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
我讨厌我
我讨厌我xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXXXXXXXxxxx
我讨厌我
我讨厌我
我讨厌我
我讨厌我
我讨厌我
我讨厌我
我讨厌我
我讨厌我
我讨厌我
我讨厌我xxxxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXXXXXxx

我讨厌我自己伪装我自己.....
我恨我自己!!!

猜一猜．．．到底是谁？Ａ&Ｂ．．

我无聊... 所以就写了.................



A:

爱说反话．．．

有时我还蛮气的，　可是有时还蛮喜欢的．．．

说过A利用... 可是分析后, 他根本就没有... 只是我想多了...

想说:"谢谢"...

有一次, 没有食物吃, A买了/拿了给我..

我被欺负, A帮我间接性地报仇了..

我被人欺负,弄到衣服湿了, A........

我DWN, A弄我开心...

弄我变强...

也感谢你能忍耐我的敏感, 我的冷淡...

说不完... 等......XD

想对A说的话: 那什么2个月的事... 希望是假的.... 不然我会骂你LIAAAARRRRR10000000000次...到你TL...哈哈!
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B:
B在一月时, 常叫我搬去他的座位坐...我却拒绝...

-他也常试着与我沟通..

但是, 我...有点"内向"的情况...

所以...

他与我说话, 我好像只冷淡地回答...

我常说"对不起"...（因为我的＂ＬＡＮＣＩ＂）
我自己知道我ＬＣ，　但是．．．还是改不掉．．．

有一阵子，　他教我踢球．．．

过后，　我对足球有点兴趣．．．
可笑的是在我中一时，　爸爸要教我踢球，　我不要．．．

但是B 叫我，　我却去学了．．．　－．－

他教我踢, 我教他别的东西... XP

谢谢B介绍给我的几首歌．．．

那首歌＂终结孤单＂．．．ＸＤ

也谢谢B 曾让我体会与朋友出去玩的滋味...等事物...

想对Ｂ说的话： 对不起... 我改不了... 我不知该怎样!!! X(





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哈哈..说了那么多, 都没有人会去在意的啦....

可是.. 我就是不能忘记PAST...

它们都在我的心里... 忘不了



可能迟一些，　会有C.D.E.F.G的出现....也可能没有了....^^

Ｘ原谅我的沉默．．．

我不能接受事实就是这样.....

"朋友/好朋友总有分开的一天"
这句话有谁不知道....

可是很奇怪的是
我.........
看到这一句话...
我的泪水.....
就不自觉地流了下来...

我回忆起过去, 而且还想到很遥远的一切...
我回忆起我以前的好友...
我回忆起我小时, 照顾我的人...
我想我未来一个人的生活...
我想以后再也不能见到朋友的情况.....

当然...
因为这一次哭得比较严重...
所以有声音...
妈妈听到了...
来安慰我...
虽然妈妈自己已XXX... (因为某种原因)
但是她还是安慰我..

妈妈告诉我...
朋友是能接受你的人...
这时候, 我的心就想能真正接受我的朋友真的很难找..
又一滴眼泪滴了下来...
因为能真正接受我的朋友...不久后...又要分开了...

妈妈也告诉了我她的事...她的事与我有点相关...
所以我有多滴一滴泪....

妈妈也说...
朋友没有永远....
可是天下没有不散之宴席....
你要时, 还是能叫你的朋友出来的啊...等..

妈妈也说...
她与她的小学好朋友...
20年没联络了...
可是...
现在见面了...
还是朋友啊....

本来觉得应该会哭到明天早上的...
可是妈妈... 15分钟.. 就将我搞定了... XD

妈妈走后,
我还不能睡..
拖了2小时... 才睡去...

现在你会哭... 因为你想永远占有, 你不想失去..... 你现在能做的不是为了还有几年要分开的事而难过, 你应该更珍惜现在....



(妈妈没来之前...) :

爸爸...安慰的方式则是...
告诉我不能这样想..
未来的变数太多太多了..

哥哥则告诉我若要想这些事, 其实是想不完的...
哥哥也说他也将与他的十年好友可能即将分开了, 可是他说他并不难过...
因为
曾经的好朋友永远都会是好朋友.......
(在心里...)

而妹妹则睡了.. 因为隔天有上课..

总共滴的泪: 8滴.. 哈哈.. 有算哦!

今早... 心还是有点痛... 泪还是在眼眶里... 若又有伤心事, 我一定又滴多一滴眼泪的...
可是头晕好像又REDUCE了... XD

失信 + 头晕 ＋ 妈.......有你真好！＋只想说声谢谢..无恶意.XD

不知该如何是好....
答应说假期后...
要变.....的三个条件...
今天就已没做到两条了...
真不知该如何是好....
不知该说对不起...还是什么的...
所以又打算了沉默...
因为失信就是失信了嘛...

说真的...
最近
这几五天....
我都失眠.....
每天晚上....
不管几点睡觉... 还是需要二十多分钟才能进入梦乡...
最近
头晕越来越厉害了...
今天... 才刚刚与母亲聊聊...
发现自己疯了...
我根本不清楚自己要的东西...

前几年... 我都一直有很多的目标...
比如说: 离开座位... 勇敢开口说话.... 拿好成绩...等...
慢慢地... 目标都达成了...
我...
现在觉得好闷...
没有目标的人生... 怎样活呢?

记得前几年的我...... 变了...
不知以前的我... 好? 还是现在的好......

以前... 只要一个人找我聊天... 我就会一直记得....
甚至记得那个人说过的每一字每一句....
现在... 不管... 几个人... 找我聊天... 我的心会觉得很空虚.... 越讲, 心越空...
(不知该如何说) 好像没有话题说了..
有很多人告诉我....
若你要说话, 话题是讲不完的...
也是最近... 我没有东西讲了...
我..... 的...

曾经记得我是多么地爱说话...
现在... 不知是恨还是什么的....
有时爱...有时恨...

最近... 我说话时, 莫名其妙地头很痛.... 很晕...
有时... 不说话时... 也会头痛....

头痛...我已从过了第二次考试的那时候痛到了现在...

我想也没人能帮我...
告诉了任何人... 我想也没有人能明白那头痛的痛...

今天...妈妈已试着聆听我的问题, 帮了我许多...
可是妈妈说还要多几天... 再用其他方法帮我...

妈... 有你真好!

只想说声谢谢．．．

谢谢．．．ＸＤ　（因为你们无意间．．．　帮我ＲＥＤＵＣＥ　ＴＨＥ PAIN OF 头晕...)
我是个敏感的人！ 哈哈...

谢谢
－妈妈
－妹妹
－哥哥
－爸爸
－凯丰
－修贤
－伟良
－学勤
－师父
－．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．
－等．．．．．．　（暂时想不到）　ＸＰ
还有还有....
任何人不想他的名字出现在这... 告诉我... 我删除... X）