I am very happy this year... but I wanted to just.....

I am very happy this year..
Because this year I does many changes :
Moving from my seat during period intervals..
Talk more than last year..
More confident than last year..
Smarter than last year..
Having more friends faster than last year..
Less sensitive than last year..
More brave than last year..

Last year or last last last year....
I actually was very talkative too...
But just talk to those friends who sit besides me...
And when I talk to them, I talk 24 hours...
Result in 24 hours non-stop talking, they usually hate me and but they are still my friends...

Changing....
From quiet to talkative..
From not brave to brave...
From XX to XX....
actually is very hard...

I have to change my thinkings about this and that and more...
Don't know how.. maybe is by the help of my family, I changed....

Anyway I don't think I change enough yet... But I am already very tired..
What can I do? ....

Sometimes I felt that I change and change, I forgot who I really was from the start... I felt empty, real damn empty eventhough I changed to a person that I wanted to change to...

Can the clock just freeze and let me rest...
Can I leave this world?
Can I..................................................
-Speechless-
Dk what to do with myself....X(