Mission - Inventing (art robot)

This holiday, I don't feel like watching tv/ playing games..

So I decided to...................

Do what I did when I was in form 1,2...

I decided to do art and craft..

And ya last time is a crocodile..

This time is a robot... ^^

Now still doing the structure part...

Quite fun doing it..

When you are boring, why not do some art and crafts? XD

Feel the fun of doing art and craft other than wasting time doing stuffs that are not beneficial at all...

Being perasan for a while

YESTERDAY
I make myself very down by thinking stupid stuffs...
I down till I like wanted to die.. -.-
But then after 12hours of "down",
I suddenly not down then become very happy..
Don't know why I down also... ^^
I will do other things other than the 2 things d.. Cheers *

leaving this world temporarily..

I am not in the mood to do any other things...
watch tv & playin games...
Don't make me happy anymore..
So I decided I only do 2 things that will not make me down from now on:
Clean the house
Study
Call my house phone if need anything..

I am very happy this year... but I wanted to just.....

I am very happy this year..
Because this year I does many changes :
Moving from my seat during period intervals..
Talk more than last year..
More confident than last year..
Smarter than last year..
Having more friends faster than last year..
Less sensitive than last year..
More brave than last year..

Last year or last last last year....
I actually was very talkative too...
But just talk to those friends who sit besides me...
And when I talk to them, I talk 24 hours...
Result in 24 hours non-stop talking, they usually hate me and but they are still my friends...

Changing....
From quiet to talkative..
From not brave to brave...
From XX to XX....
actually is very hard...

I have to change my thinkings about this and that and more...
Don't know how.. maybe is by the help of my family, I changed....

Anyway I don't think I change enough yet... But I am already very tired..
What can I do? ....

Sometimes I felt that I change and change, I forgot who I really was from the start... I felt empty, real damn empty eventhough I changed to a person that I wanted to change to...

Can the clock just freeze and let me rest...
Can I leave this world?
Can I..................................................
-Speechless-
Dk what to do with myself....X(

Have enough of myself already...

Have enough of myself :

Afraid to talk...
Afraid of cats...
Being very sensitive...
Being so selfish of.....
Talking tone very soft..
Afraid of this and that...
And many more things...

Wanted to say to myself: go die!

I am afraid of....

I love all animals...

But the only thing is that I scared to go near them...

I really do love them...

I even created a friendster group which I named it Animal Lovers...

The animal which I am scared of it the most: Cat

Just can't stop thinking of :

The fierce eyes staring at u...

The tail which touches u that making u very geli...

Whenever I eats, when there is a cat underneath the table, I just can't continue to eat...

Don't know why also...

Maybe because of this incident:

My family(grandparents) and I were eating at one place which has a lot of cats...

I was not afraid at that time...

But ......

Since this incident on this day happened, I was then very afraid of cats...

That time, we were chatting joyfully... (sambil makan)

then suddenly

A loud cat-meowing sound occured under the table ..... The sound scared me!

The cat also scratches my mum's leg and ran away( I am looking at the cat that is scratching my mother's leg)... Because my mum accidentally step of the cat's tail with high heels...

Luckily my mum wears a long pants... If not...

After that day, When I see cats, I will think of this incident...

Anyway, cats actually sometimes also quite cute and gentle, sometimes maybe is just me thinking too much gua... ya, possible... ("self-answering")

......Nw trying to overcome by going places which have cats(Wear long pants and sunglasses) ...

Who also afraid of cats? Please raise up ur hands...

My handphone wants to suicide?

I was charging my phone this afternoon...

Then my room's door was open wide...

Then my room is on the top floor.. (which is about 20m high from the ground floor)

I don't know how I walk then my leg 勾到 the charger's line...

My phone don't know ki siao or wat..

Then "he" .......

"He" runs out of my room with a very high speed...

Then fall from the top floor to ground floor(20metres!!!)..

In juz 3seconds "he" reached the ground floor..

Then when I rushed down and c whether "he" got injury or not....

Miracle!...

"He" didn't even have a scratch on "his" body...

"He" looks fine and "his" heart is also still "moving"(functioning)..

I was happy for "him"..

And I decided that I will spend more time with "him"..

(To "Menghilangkan" its thought of suicide...)

Til now don't know "he" wants...

"He" wants to suicide or "he" wants to fly? *(worried)*

我不认识我

我不是个好人…
我不是个好哥哥…
我不是个好朋友…
我也不是个好弟弟…
我什么都不好….
我….
我是什么,
我自己也不知道…

只想说...
若有我做了任何让你/你们讨厌的事,
你/你们
真的真的可以
把我当作是隐形的…

因为我不会做一个不让人讨厌的人...

Thank You Thank You

Wanted to say thank you to

my parents for giving me to chance to live in this world...

and oso my bro, my sis for everything...

and oso my sifu for teaching me...(Study) ^^

and oso LWL for treating me as a friend...

and oso KFC for buying food for me and gain a bit of my confidence (facing "strangers" in ttn)

and oso KSXQ for 3 things which u helped me b4 but u duno....

and oso my t.bro for giving me support and...

and oso TKJ (Primary Friend) for nothing at all.....

and oso casper for giving me the chance to talk non-stop...

and oso GZW, NJH for encouraging me to speak more last year...

and oso TJS for teaching me how to be a pai kia...

and oso LYS for giving me the chance to ask teacher things I dk, but not juz ignore the problem...

and oso YCC for bulling me...

and oso LZY for making me understand something...

and oso TSS for sumhow teached me sumthing indirectly...

and oso thank you to those who I din mention here but helped me b4 in sumthing....

Really THANK YOU to all who talked to me! ^^

SRY for those I din mention ur name above..

if u din c ur name here and u want ur name to be here,

u can call me to add, but u nid to tell me wat u helped me b4... XD...